Some religious jokes and humour
Firstly as he has been in the news recently here is the excellent Rowan Atkinson playing the Devil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XFGrQMD6Uqc#!
And this one about the couple converting to Orthodox Judaism
A couple, preparing for conversion, meet with the orthodox rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asks if they have any final questions. The man asks, “Is it true that men and women don’t dance together?”
“Yes,” says the rabbi, “For modesty reasons, men and women dance separately.”
“So I can’t dance with my own wife?”
“No.”
“Well, okay,” says the man, “but what about sex?”
“That’s fine,” says the rabbi. “It’s a mitzvah (commandment from God ) within the marriage!”
“What about different positions?” the man asks.
“No problem,” says the rabbi.
“Woman on top?” the man asks.
“Why not?” replies the rabbi.
“Well, what about standing up?”
“NO, CERTAINLY NOT!” says the rabbi. “That could lead to dancing!”
No Jews or Christians will riot over these jokes
Not quite sure about what will result from this one though:
When a Christian or a Jew says ‘God told me to do it’, it’s normally to do with building a school or a hospital or working for a charity.
Far too often when a Muslim says ‘God told me to do it’, it is normally to do with blowing up a school, a hospital or a charity.
Sign on top of a cliff
Bungee jumping £5.00 a go
Muslims free…..no strings attached.
Two Islamic women are walking along in burkhas. One says to the other ‘does my bomb look big in this?’
and another
‘I bought a Saudi women’s diary off of ebay the other day. It came already pre printed with diary entries. This is what it said:
Monday – stayed in
Tuesday – stayed in
Wednesday – stayed in
Thursday – stayed in
Friday – stayed in
Saturday – stayed in
Sunday – stayed in”
Afeministvisits Kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is disgusted to see all the women walking 5 paces behind their menfolk. A year later she returns and is delighted to see the men now walk 5 paces behind the women.
She asks the interpreter “What brought about the change?” He replied “Landmines”
A feminist visits Kabul just after the fall of the taliban and is disgusted to see all the women walking 5 paces behind their menfolk. A year later she returns and is delighted to see the men now walk 5 paces behind the women.
She asks the interpreter “What brought about the change?” He replied “Landmines”
Nice one”
I’ve put this one up before but it’s still a good one. Sadly not a joke but true.