Are you a thrill seeker? More importantly are you the sort of thrill-seeker who takes a cavalier attitude to your personal safety and has grown tired of free running, base jumping, urban free climbing, flying in a home-made light aircraft with an acid-head pilot tripping away, parachuting whilst drunk or juggling with live hand grenades? Are you bored with such mundane and safe activities? If so, have Fahrenheit211 Enterprises got a deal for you.

If you want to have the thrill of the (end) of a lifetime then why not don one of these attractive Kippah hats…..

….and take yourself down to the London Borough of Newham in East London, preferably when all the many mosques there are chucking out after Friday afternoon prayers?

There you will find some of the most grotesque Islamic Jew haters pumped up on testosterone and jihad preaching that you could ever (not) wish to meet. Experience the fear, the terror of finding that you are the target of hatred from a whole borough stuffed full of Islamic thugs. Feel for yourself the chilling terror as you walk from Manor Park station to East Ham Town Hall past hundreds of Islamic shops crammed with seething hate-filled Islamics. Don’t forget also the legions of burkha-clad Muslimas all nicely primed and ready to let their hatred explode (maybe even literally). Gasp in wonder at the local police, who will either not give a toss about your predicament or even, if you are lucky, arrest you and bang you up in a cell at one of the attractive local police stations on the grounds that you have ‘walked on the cracks in the pavement’.

This trip is the ideal opportunity for the person who is tired of life and who has found no real satisfaction in any other dangerous sport or pastime.

It’s also ideal for the British terminal thrill seeker who may fancy the idea of playing Russian Roulette but finds that their plans are hampered by Britain’s restrictive firearms laws. In fact wearing a Kippah on a Friday afternoon outside a mosque in Newham is even better than playing Russian Roulette as you have many more chances to end up with your brains splattered all over the floor. After all, why gamble with one measly round in a revolver when you can be surrounded by thousands of angry violent Muslims just itching to separate your head from your body?

This one way trip is approved by the National Association of Doing Away With Yourself In A Spectacularly Stupid And Violent Way.

The cost of this trip to this amazingly crappy and dangerous area can be yours for the bargain price of £1,000 and includes removal of your body (or as much as can be gathered up) in a clapped out Transit van to the mainland UK location of your choice. Please note there will be no refunds for those who come back alive or injured. Those who come back alive and unharmed will be assumed to have not honoured the contract and instead spent the whole duration of their trip safely locked in the disabled toilets at Stratford station.