An open letter to all those writers, commentators, editors and publishers who are referring to Dianne Abbott MP as a ‘Muppet’.

Dear Sir or Madam.

My name is Kermit T Frog and along with my friends Miss Piggy, Gonzo and others, wish to bring an important matter to your attention. It has come to our notice that a number of publications and commentators, including yourself, are making comparisons between the Labour MP Dianne Abbot and Muppets.

The word ‘Muppet’ is being used in a wholly derogatory context with regards to the Muppet community and in a manner that not only is highly unjustified, but associates, without good cause, the Muppet community with Dianne Abbott. This behaviour needs to stop.

The Muppet Community objects to being compared to Dianne Abbott as few in the Muppet community are in any way as objectionable as Ms Abbott.

The Muppet Community has, unlike Ms Abbott, provided a valuable service to the human race for decades. We have been hard working and have contributed, via the entertainment we have produced, to the good of humanity, again unlike Ms Abbott.

We believe that the Muppet Community is far superior to Ms Abbott on the grounds that whereas Ms Abbott has consistently been a racist gobshite, no such claim can be made of the Muppet Community. We’ve never sired nutjobs who run around with scissors whilst on drugs, never engaged in racist talk, never conned people into voting for us on the grounds that we share the same skin colours as our potential voters and those of who have feet that are visible on screen have always worn matching shoes.

In contrast to Ms Abbott, many in the Muppet Community have little problem with mathematics and understand that police officers cannot be hired for a mere £30 per year. Also, to show another difference between Ms Abbott and the Muppet Community, we genuinely respect diversity. Our chef is Swedish and even our hecklers in the theatre boxes are elderly men, a traditionally marginalised group. Ms Abbott on the other hand seems to support a twisted version of diversity where Black = good whilst White = bad. We Muppets don’t think like that because the Muppet Community is genuinely and organically diverse. Not for us the divisive politics of race which seems to have played a major part in keeping Ms Abbott in her Parliamentary seat and appears to have been a factor in her elevation to Shadow Home Secretary.

I would like to conclude by pleading with you and other publishers to cease making comparisons between us Muppets and Dianne Abbott. Ms Abbott is an appalling character and for commentators to say that ‘Dianne Abbott is a Muppet’ is an unconscionable slur against the hard working, law abiding, genuinely contributory community of Muppets. Please find some other insult for Ms Abbott and not tarnish those of us in the Muppet Community by comparisons with Dianne Abbott.

Yours Sincerely

Mr Kermit T Frog.