In an effort to improve the police’s hiring practises and make it more representative of the Tramp community and to build active and enriching relationships with the gentlemen of the road, police forces are now hiring more scruffy and dishonest tramps. The police are especially interested in hiring those who shout at traffic and who wibble on about anything regardless of whether what they are wibbling about is true or not.

A police representative Detective Chief Inspector Dowling Rodd told this blog that ‘Tramps represent a fantastic new resource for Britain’s police forces’ The officer added that as they are used to street level work it means that the public can expect to see more officers on the beat and in the queues for off licences. The officer continued and said that one great benefit of employing tramps is that it frees up more officers to sit on Twitter and pander to those who claim to be ‘offended’ and harass Lesbian Feminists who are opposed to the gender identity cult. DCI Rodd said that the employment of Tramps is vital as so many current officers are unable to be deployed owing to them being imprisoned or accused of murdering women, child sex offences, bribery or being locked up for misconduct in public office. ‘We are incredibly short of officers these days’ said DCI Rodd ‘Tramps make ideal employees for police forces as despite the risk of them abusing methylated spirits they are quite comfortable with hanging around the streets and being a bit aggressive and intimidating for no good reason.’

Unfortunately many Britons seem unable or unwilling to accept tramps in uniform and the publicity photo of the first tramp in uniform to be recruited, which is shown below, has been met with derision from many members of the public. One lady who contacted this blog about Britain’s new ‘Tramp Force’, a Mrs Mary Hinge from the village of Dogtoothcheck in Wiltshire said that she was ‘disgusted’ by the image of the uniformed tramp in the publicity image. She said that when she voted for the Tories in the local Police and Crime Commissioner elections she expected ‘Gene Hunt not this mumbling scruffy ****’.

When confronted by this blog with the public complaints about the new Tramp Force and their first recruit a man called ‘Boris’,  DCI Rodd became quite angry and thin skinned.  DCI Rodd immediately, as Essex Police did over the issue of critics of Transgender Day of Remembrance,  closed down the comment facility on their social media. DCI Rodd then told this blog’s reporter that we should shut up about the complaints or we would be nicked for hate speech against Tramps.